Running on fumes
If you've been following along with me on this trip through the Old Testament, you know that it started with wide-eyed enthusiasm. I was full of excitement for the coming treasure trove of enlightenment and wisdom. But, at some point along the way, it started to feel like a long road through treacherous terrain.
Now, I find myself running on fumes, looking forward to what's on the other side of that mountain ahead where the Old Testament ends and the New Testament begins. Reading about Israel’s rebellion and punishment over and over again has been emotionally draining to me.
Yes, there have been moments when my soul was touched to the core. That’s what I absolutely love about God’s Word. But there are other moments when I must push myself to continue. And, those moments seem to have overtaken my journey, especially throughout the books of the prophets. I’m disappointed, mostly in myself, that they’ve been surprisingly difficult for me to read.
Seeking Revelation End time prophecy studies are what drew me to the Scriptures in the first place. I’ve studied Revelation a few times before, and was utterly fascinated. That book is actually the reason I became intrigued by the Bible. So, I assumed I’d be just as fascinated and intrigued by Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and the others. But, it hasn’t been the experience I thought it would be. It’s actually quite depressing.
I would compare this part of my journey to running out of gas on a desert highway, and having to push your car to the nearest gas station five miles away. The car is heavy. It’s hot outside. You’re thirsty. You have to take several breaks in between to rest. The sun will be setting soon. There are no street lights. It’s scary out there. You just want to hurry up and get through it before your legs give out. Before you give up. That’s how I’ve been feeling for several weeks now, probably since the book of Joel. The Song of Solomon was like my oasis in the desert. It quenched my thirst and warmed my heart. Proverbs was like the North Star that kept me on the right road to my destination. The book of Psalms has kept me encouraged, like a protein bar in my pocket for a boost of energy. But these prophets!
The books of the prophets I've read so far remind me that there's inexplicable denial running rampant still, to this day. They remind me that human beings fall prey to their own flaws every single time. They remind me that suffering is a fact of life. They remind me that the Father I love has high expectations, and severe consequences for not living up to them. They remind me that people just don’t listen. How disheartening! I’m so thankful that I’ve read and studied many of the books of the New Testament before embarking on this Old Testament journey. I might have just given up and walked away. I might have turned my back on a Father who seems impossible to please. I might even be angry with Him for what seems like arbitrary brutality against those who would be deemed innocent by today’s standards. But, I know enough about the Lord by now to steer clear of my own limited human assessment of the situations I’ve been reading about. I know enough about the Lord by now to defer to His omniscience. I know enough about the Lord by now to resist the urge to follow my own heart instead of following the Holy Spirit. And, so I continue putting my feelings aside. Ignoring the fatigue in my legs along this journey. I keep pushing and steering in the right direction, simultaneously. Drinking in the Spirit that quenches all thirst. Looking up and letting the North Star guide my way.
*I encourage you to take a trip around the world of Scripture. The only passport you’ll need for your journey is the Read Scripture app which will provide your daily itinerary. You’ll love this app because it contains videos by The Bible Project that will serve as your tour guide.
(In case you were wondering, this blog is a labor of love for me.❤️ The links contained in my posts are NOT affiliate links. I include them in order to share with you the actual pages and apps I use during the course of my own personal journey. Money muddies the waters, and I like my water clear. Amen? 😉)