Hey y’all! It’s been a minute since I took a break from my goal to read the entire Bible in a year. What a lofty goal! I thought I could do it, but alas, I have failed.
Summer came along, and with it, so did strife and conflict within my family. Ugh! You know what they say: When we’re on a path to get closer to God, that’s when the enemy sends obstacles our way. Unfortunately, I finally let them get the best of me.
The sky is falling!
Now, I’m not a baby Christian. I’m supposed to see the enemy’s tricks coming from a mile away. And, I did! I tried to warn everyone. I ran around like Chicken Little, trying to put out one fire after another. I preached forgiveness, humility, family togetherness, and consequences. Instead of making a difference, my words fell on deaf ears all around, and I ended up absorbing everyone’s anger.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because it’s still going on. And, all by myself, even with fervent prayer, things have only gotten worse. So that tells me that whatever went down had to be God’s will. I needed to learn some serious lessons, and here are my top three:
God cannot be rushed. We can’t just snap our fingers, and expect Him to jump into action. He’s not here to serve us! We should be serving Him. And, thanks to a recent revelation that He spoke to me through my lovely first cousin, perhaps I dropped the ball on my Bible reading at precisely the time when I should’ve pushed past the obstacles and continued my quest.
I must have forgotten how to pray. That’s what God told me at the end of a tear-filled conversation with Him. I was used to such family cohesiveness for so long, that I became too comfortable...even entitled. I thought my family was immune to what others contend with on a regular basis. Then, when strife came, what did I do?
Did I pray? YES
Did I have unwavering faith? UMM, NOT EXACTLY
Did I cry? YES, A LOT!
Did I worry? YES, TOO MUCH
Did I have sleepless nights? YES, TOO MANY
Did I have emotional outbursts? YES, FREQUENTLY
Is that faith? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
After God told me that I had forgotten how to pray, He chastised me for constantly speaking against the very things I had asked Him for. Instead of confessions of faith, my tongue confessed words filled with doubt, anguish, anger, and defeat.
No weapon formed against me shall prosper...unless I let it. When I cried out asking God why He let all of this happen, He basically said, “Don’t blame Me! You’re the one that let it. I told you that no weapon could hurt you, but I didn’t say there would be no weapons. I gave you the power to shield yourself from the fiery darts. Did you use that power?”
My answer was a sheepish, “No.”
When Jesus was on the boat with the disciples, He slept through a storm that was tossing the boat to and fro. His disciples probably thought, How could He remain so calm in the midst of certain calamity? How could He just lay there and let them drown?
When they woke Him up, I imagine Him saying, “Seriously? After all we’ve been through together you’re still afraid of a little storm? Relax!” All Jesus had to say was, “Peace, be still!” And when the winds obeyed Him, Jesus asked His disciples, “How is it that you have no faith?”
That’s what I hear when I think about the last several months. Instead of sleeping peacefully like Jesus, I panicked like the disciples. But, here’s the good news...God loves me anyway. He gives us grace where our human failings reside.
I can almost feel Him patting me on my head saying, “There, there, my wonderful child. Regardless of what happens, I am with you. Regardless of what’s going on with that growing family of yours, you just remain steady. Remain faithful. Remain confident in knowing that my joy is your strength. Get back on the path that I have set before you, and stay on it!”
And with that, regardless what happens, I’m determined to at least finish reading (and writing about) the Old Testament by the end of this year. So, please stay tuned because my next post will be about the book of Proverbs, because Lord knows I need His wisdom all day every day! Perhaps you do, too.
(In case you were wondering, this blog is a labor of love for me.❤️ The links contained in my posts are NOT affiliate links. I include them in order to share with you the actual pages and apps I use during the course of my own personal journey. Money muddies the waters, and I like my water clear. Amen? 😉)