Having a bunch of kids doesn’t make you a super mom. Take it from me! None of us is perfect. Now that I’m looking in my rear view, I wish I had done SO many things differently. I could’ve done a better job giving my boys individual attention. I could’ve had a LOT more patience. I should’ve learned how to cook more interesting meals for them. If only we could’ve traveled and shown them other parts of the world. I wish I had done a better job helping them figure out their purpose in life. There were so many things I wish I had the time and money to expose them to, besides just school and sports. The list goes on and on til the break of dawn!
My husband always says, “Stop trippin, we did a good job!” Okay yes, HE did an awesome job! Unfortunately, there aren’t enough men who stick around to raise their kids, especially in our community. One of the things we had in common was the fact that both of our fathers left when we were just four years old. That’s one of the biggest reasons we had for making the decision long ago that “divorce” was a dirty word. We never used the term, not even in a joking manner. Oh we had hurdles, best believe! But we avoided the “d word” because neither one of us could stomach the idea of being away from our kids. And, when we hit those hurdles, we just kept on running. Running towards compromise. Running towards understanding. Running towards love. And, running towards God.
We were so committed to keeping our family together because we saw firsthand how hard it is for single moms to raise their children alone. Single moms are the real SUPER MOMS, not me. Yes, I raised six boys. Yes, they were a handful and then some! But their father was present. He insisted that I stay home to raise them, even when we only had one child. He made sure we had everything we needed, even if we couldn’t have everything we wanted. And we were interchangeable at home. The only thing he couldn’t do was breastfeed. It was some serious teamwork going on all day every day to make that house run like clockwork.
But our moms didn’t have a team to fall back on. Financially, it was all on mom. Emotionally, it was all on mom. Logistically, it was all on mom. Cooking, cleaning, working, driving, planning, budgeting, grocery shopping, laundry...again the list goes on and on. All of that without a partner to share the load, hold you up, or catch you when you fall. I salute my single mom. Wait, scratch that…my SUPER MOM.
I learned a lot from her purely by example. I watched her do her own taxes, so I’ve always done mine. I watched her carry herself like a lady whether she was going to work or to the laundromat, so I make sure to do the same. I watched her balance her checkbook and save up to buy her first house, so it’s my job to keep up with our family finances. She never brought random men around her daughter, so I didn’t grow up thirsting for a man. She was always very selective with her friends and associates, as am I. No, she didn’t teach me how to cook and clean, or how to change diapers. But she did insist that I go to college. She refused to teach me how to drive, but I bet it was because she wanted me to be safe, and didn’t want me to stray too far away. My super mom wasn’t perfect, no mother is. But she’s the mom that God put in my life to give me everything I needed, not everything I wanted. And she did it alone. Cheers to my super mom, and to all the super moms out there in the world doing it by themselves, and doing it well!
Do you have a super mom story to share? Well, let’s hear it...